GCN Radio - January 22, 2004
Transcribed by Vombatus

To listen to this episode, visit http://www.gaychristian.net/gcnradio

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BRIAN: You’re listening to GCN Radio. I’m Brian in Muncie, Indiana. It’s our third show and we haven’t been cancelled yet. Good to have you along.

JUSTIN: Hey, I’m Justin in Raleigh, North Carolina, and joining us today by phone is Annika in Denver, Colorado.

ANNIKA: Hello!

JUSTIN: Hey Annika, how’re you doing?

ANNIKA: Good. How’re y’all?

JUSTIN: Doing all right…

BRIAN: We’re so excited to have our first female on GCN radio.

JUSTIN: The token woman.

BRIAN: So, Annika, how did you find out about GCN anyway and our happy little community?

ANNIKA: Well, Justin and I go way, way back, even though he doesn’t remember it. I sent him an e-mail about three years ago probably after I had run across him on another site. So I e-mailed him, he replied, I was just really confused at the time, still doing the ex-gay thing and not sure what I wanted so I just always kind of kept Justin’s web page and information and found my way back there again about a year and a half ago or so. And lurked for a while and finally joined about a year ago.

JUSTIN: We’re glad you did.

ANNIKA: Thank you!

JUSTIN: I didn’t know how to pronounce your name for a while…

BRIAN: Neither did I! I think the first time I said A-nee’-kuh. Bad, bad Brian.

JUSTIN: I thought it was Ann-ic-kuh. And I was convinced that Brian’s name was Bree-ohn. [laughter] And I supposed I should have known better, but I didn’t, I thought it was Ann-ic-kuh… that you were, like, Aniken Skywalker.

ANNIKA: Which means nothing to me, since I’ve never seen any Star Wars or any Star Trek or any of that. I just lost my whole fan base right there.

BRIAN: Then I learned it was Ahn-uh-kuh, of course, and all I could think of was [singing] “put on your yarmulke, here comes Hanukkah.”

ANNIKA: My cats would appreciate that, since they’re Jewish.

BRIAN: Jewish?! What??

ANNIKA: I do, I have two kitties, and they’re Jewish.

JUSTIN: Now, how do you determine your cats’ religion?

ANNIKA: Well, for me, I initially got my first cat right before Christmas, and I had a little nativity scene set up under the tree, and he kept dragging baby Jesus out of it and hiding it behind things. Every so often I would see him looking at Mary like, “Ri-i-i-ght.” So I got suspicious and then he wasn’t really all that happy with his stocking, I didn’t think, with the toys and stuff, so I thought maybe this isn’t his religion. So, I want to be respectful of that…

BRIAN: That’s very kind of you.

ANNIKA: So I investigated further with my friends who were Jewish and they told me about their cats, and it all just kind of fell into place from there.

JUSTIN: I see… the things you learn on GCN Radio.

BRIAN: So what is it that you do, Annika?

ANNIKA: I work in advertising, so I work in front of a computer all day, doing production work for ads.

BRIAN: Do you write copy? Do you do art? What is it that you do?

ANNIKA: Oh no, they have smart people to do that! [laughter] No, I’m just kidding. I’m kind of more of the behind the scenes, doing all of the gritty work to make something print right… that’s kind of the layman’s definition of what I do.

JUSTIN: Well, God bless you for doing that. [sarcasm] Working at the computer all day, that must be terribly boring, I can’t imagine what that would be like…[/sarcasm]

ANNIKA: Yeah, I bet, I bet you can’t.

BRIAN: So you say you’re absolutely like no one else. I remember the other week we were talking with you and you said, “Oh Brian, I don’t know if can be on the show. I’m not the typical gay person, I’m not the typical Christian, I’m not the typical woman…” What is it about you that makes you so atypical?

ANNIKA: Well, I think in some ways I just feel like I don’t really fit a lot with the Christian community. I’m still trying to figure out what I believe about all of that. And having done the ex-gay thing for a number of years and now being where I’m at, sometimes I really feel that I don’t sort of fit in a lot of these places. I don’t have sometimes a lot of similar experiences to other people I meet. Which is one of the reasons that I’m at GCN, because this was one place that I could feel like it’s okay to be different, it’s okay to have all these different things, but we’re building a community and we don’t have to be carbon copies. And there’s a lot of exchange, and a lot of “I believe this”, “Okay, well I don’t but here… we can talk about this other thing and have something in common.”

JUSTIN: We’re glad to have you, though.

BRIAN: One of the things is that you’re so welcoming and so affirming and every time you have a post it’s something helpful and positive. I really really appreciate that.

ANNIKA: Hmmm… I’ll go run and delete the negative ones in case you run across them…

BRIAN: [laughs] I haven’t seen those yet.

ANNIKA: Yeah, maybe not. But thanks.

JUSTIN: Tell us about your name… is that okay?

ANNIKA: Oh sure! I am Scandinavian as part of my heritage… it’s actually not my real name. A lot of people know that, and some people don’t.

BRIAN: “Annika” is not your real name?

ANNIKA: Right, “Annika” is not my real name.

BRIAN: It’s your stage name.

ANNIKA: Right! Exactly!

BRIAN: Performing in concert now, it’s Annika!

ANNIKA: Yeah, but I really like it, so I’ve even honestly thought about changing my name to Annika at some point. I found it in a name dictionary and the meaning of it is “Grace” which I really liked. At the time I picked it, I felt like I needed a lot of grace for just where I was at, and I felt like I wasn’t getting it from anyone around me at the time. I sort of decided that I want my name to encompass something that I need, something that I want to give, something that I want to receive. And so that’s how I chose the name.

BRIAN: That’s really cool.

JUSTIN: Absolutely.

BRIAN: So, Annika, what kinds of fun things do you like to do?

ANNIKA: I like to walk and hike and I want to camp…

BRIAN: You’ve got a great place to do that!

ANNIKA: I know! And I haven’t ever camped here and I’ve lived here since ’98 and I haven’t ever gone camping. I’m still not quite sure why. I’m waiting for Chris from Minnesota to come out and camp with me, maybe that’s it.

BRIAN: There you go!

ANNIKA: Hi Chris! Love ya! I’m really trying to start some freelance business and that’s really mostly all I’ve been thinking about in the next year or so.

BRIAN: In graphic arts, or…?

ANNIKA: Yeah, yeah, doing the same thing that I do know. so I’m kind of working on that, but I definitely like to do stuff outdoors and I like to read a lot, so I also spend a lot of time reading, which isn’t very exciting to most people.

JUSTIN: My goodness. She is boring: computers and reading.

BRIAN: Wow… why did we have her? Just kidding…

JUSTIN: I don’t know!

ANNIKA: Because nobody else said yes?

BRIAN: We couldn’t bribe anyone else to be on the show, so it’s you.

ANNIKA: And there’s only seven other women at GCN…

JUSTIN: Well, I said, you have to be our token woman! We expect you to speak on behalf of all women, everywhere. We really do.

ANNIKA: I’m sure everybody else is thrilled…

BRIAN: You are woman, hear you roar!

ANNIKA: You know, there’s a reason we have women’s-only chats I think. Speaking of which, I’d like to shamelessly plug them.

BRIAN: Ladies and Gentlemen, stand by for shameless plug.

ANNIKA: Can I?

BRIAN: Go for it!

ANNIKA: Women’s chats are on the second and fouth Thursdays of the month at 9 p.m. eastern time. And so far, one night I thought I was going to pass out because we had six people, all at one time. So I’d love to see more of you. I know there’s more out there, and more people reading and lurking and not showing up so please show up. We have a great time, we’re a really funny group of women and so definitely show up.

JUSTIN: Awesome. And that actually brings up a subject that I did want to talk about. When we started doing chats, the Monday night chats, one of the problems that we ran into is that we would usually have one woman show up for chat. And whoever it was that showed up would always say, “Well, aren’t there any other women?” And I would always say, “There are, but they’re never here on the same night! Come back next week, and there’ll be somebody else, I promise.” And then, the next week, a different woman would show up and she’d say, “Aren’t there any women here?” and I’d say, “There was one here last week, but she’s not here now…”

ANNIKA: Exactly!

JUSTIN: And so I was really excited when Annika started—and I’m really glad you made that a focus, because that’s something that I think that we need and I’m really glad that the women are finally getting a group together. At the risk of making you feel that you’re speaking for all women, do you feel in general that women are left out in gay groups, not GCN specifically, but any?

BRIAN: That’s a good question.

ANNIKA: I think to some degree they are. I said that before, actually, in a post and I remember another woman came on and posted and said, “Oh, I’ve never felt left out”, so this is one area where I really don’t want to say that I’m speaking for everybody. In my experience, I’ve always sort of felt like a minority within a minority. And even trying to find a gay church, it’s mostly men. And when I’d get involved in the gay and lesbian center in the town that I came from, it was mostly men, and it was sort of very difficult to find the women’s groups. On one hand I don’t want to encourage more division. We have a separate chat, but it’s not because we need to be separate. But Justin, like you were saying, this at least is a focus and everybody comes together at one point and not just randomly trying to find each other through this sea of people. So, that’s something that I do want to say, is that it is not intended to be any kind of division or “We’re better” or “We need to have this over here, because we don’t want the guys involved” or anything like that. It’s more of a place to find each other and to hear some common voices and things.

JUSTIN: It seems to me in a lot of groups that cater to gay and lesbian folks—you wouldn’t expect that there would be—but there’s still racism and still sexism. And even when there’s not intentional racism or sexism, you still see divisions. They just erupt and I don’t know where they come from.

ANNIKA: One thing I notice, too, with a lot of gay men in groups (and I really don’t want to grossly oversimplify it), but gay men being gay are obviously cued in to their own gender more. And so they’re looking for each other, and…. That was one of the things that was hard at first when I came to GCN…

BRIAN: Are you trying to say that we’re looking for each other? Noooo. Not us! I can’t believe that!

ANNIKA: Exactly! Somebody writes a post and a bunch of us write back, and sometimes to women it feels like our posts are overlooked. And posts get overlooked for all kinds of reasons that don’t have anything to do with anybody’s gender, but also sometimes I think that the guys are just going to naturally sort of gravitate towards other guys posts and what other guys have to say and so it is kind of hard, I think, sometimes to kind of counteract that natural gravitation towards one’s own gender, especially when somebody’s gay. But I feel that there’s been a lot of guys at GCN that have really gone out of their way to try to welcome women and say, “We’re really gad you’re here”, and I’m thankful for that.

BRIAN: The women at GCN, to be perfectly honest, are really awesome. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know all the ladies and you guys are great! We’re going to keep you around for a while.

ANNIKA: Oh good! Oh thanks!

BRIAN: We’re running out of time. Any closing thoughts, Annika?

ANNIKA: Just a total, random aside: What’s with the Canadians in Ontario drinking milks out of bags?

BRIAN: Oh my gosh, where did that come from?

ANNIKA: Chris and HC were telling me about this… that in Ontario they buy milk in bags at the store and put the bag in a pitcher, snip off the corner, and pour out of this Bag-O’-Milk.

BRIAN: How does that stay in the bag?

ANNIKA: Yeah, I’m not sure, it seems a little… yeah, anyway, that’s my profound closing comments, right there. Don’t understand that.

BRIAN: So, I hope you’ll post on that and give us a link for more information on it.

JUSTIN: We’ll have to have a Canadian on the show sometime soon…

ANNIKA: I think you will, a token Canadian.

JUSTIN: Absolutely. That’s our goal here on GCN Radio: to have one token woman, one token Canadian, and we’ll find a few other token people

BRIAN: And a few token UK people.

ANNIKA: You gotta have your token straight, too.

BRIAN: That’s right!

ANNIKA: And we have some really good token straight people here at GCN

JUSTIN: And then after that I think it’s just going to be Brian and me

ANNIKA: Just the regular joes?

JUSTIN: Right.

ANNIKA: And the theme music is going to be “Do Lord” because nobody will send anything in.

BRIAN: That’s right. You know I was just going to mention as we were wrapping up. I have talked to a few people about the theme music and I know that there’s people thinking about a few ideas out there e-mail or catch me on a post or on IM and we can talk about that. February 8 is the deadline but we definitely need some creativity out there, so get busy! Or else we’re going to have to have “Do Lord” as our theme and we don’t want to do that do we? No.

JUSTIN: Well thank you again to Annika and Bri-own.

BRIAN: Oh yes, thank you, thank you.

JUSTIN: And thanks again to everybody for tuning in today or logging on… I guess there’s not really any tuning involved.

BRIAN: Not yet… soon, but not yet.

JUSTIN: As usual you can listen to us every week at www.gaychristian.net/gcnradio. And if you have any comments, questions, or concerns…

BRIAN: Or gripes or want to throw tomatoes

JUSTIN: …you can direct those to Brian! at gcnradio@gaychristian.net.

BRIAN: or Justin, he needs more to do.

JUSTIN: And that’s it for this week, I’m Justin…

BRIAN: …and I’m Brian.

ANNIKA: And I’m Annika.

BRIAN: Take care, thanks again.

ANNIKA: Bye.

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