GCN Radio - May 26, 2004
Transcribed by Vombatus

To listen to this episode, visit http://www.gaychristian.net/gcnradio

JUSTIN: Welcome to another edition of GCN Radio. I’m Justin…

BRIAN: …and I’m Brian, and we are so excited to have Jason & DeMarco, who’s music you’re hearing right now. Let’s listen to a little bit of their new single, “All I Long For” from their Spirit Pop CD.

[music:
All I long for
Is someone to love
Who understands me
Who sees me as I am…]

BRIAN: Jason & DeMarco are joining us by phone right now. Guys, what’s it like being gay in the Christian music world?

JASON: Um, it’s not possible. [laughs] Believe me, we’re trying and we have our new song getting pitched to some Christian radio stations right now and it’s just, you know, the minute we talk about that they’re going to pull our song off the airwaves. We’re trying to be true to who we are and trying not to be fake, but it’s really hard. It’s a very fine line you’re crossing, especially when we do interviews like this for traditional radio stations, and they ask questions like, “So, you guys married? You dating anybody?”

BRIAN: uh huh.

JASON: It’s like when they as “So, are you married?”, we just look at each other and say, “No, but we plan on getting married one day.” [laughs] So you’re not lying, but you also have to learn the lingo. I think we’re at a point now where I just told DeMarco, that I’m just ready to shock. Like if we’re doing this interview with a Christian radio, I’m just ready to get to the point where when they say “So, are you guys married?”, to say “We can’t get married right now because of George Bush.” Just to see what they’d say, because I think they’d probably flip to, “Okay, we’ll be right back after this message.”

JUSTIN: Now Jason, I know when you started off back in your college days, you were touring with a mainstream Christian group called Truth. I actually saw them in concert around that time. And I’m curious, was that tough being in the closet to your own group members?

JASON: I only traveled with Truth for a short time because I decided to go back and finish my last year of college. It was really after my senior year of college that I actually came out. I surrounded myself with some friends that were going through the same issue, and as you can imagine, going to a Christian school and trying to come to terms with being gay was not the easiest for any of us. I graduated from college and another group actually opened up for me and that’s when I moved to Houston, Texas and I traveled with a group called the Sound. After being with the Sound for about a year, we were about to be signed and we were working on a new album, I really was at a point where I was exhausted of living two lives at that point. I really felt like I needed somebody to come out to, and in my mind, who better than these four guys that I had been traveling with for almost a year who were like brothers? And that’s really where my journey began, because I came out to the group and was immediately invited to get out of the group. And the guys looked at me, and in that moment, they looked at me as a completely different person. I realized that this wasn’t just happening to me, but this was happening to so many other people, particularly young people around this country and this world. That’s really when I started realizing that God was leading me into—I started seeing this, my sexuality, not as the curse that I had viewed it as for so long, but I started really seeing that this was something in my life because it was something that I was being called to address. Now at that pointed I hadn’t completely come to terms with it, but I did know that it was something that God was leading me through. And I really prayed and I said, “God reveal yourself to me and reveal your truth to me.” And it was not long after that that I was given the book Stranger at the Gate that was written by Mel White, and that was the first time I had ever heard that there was such a thing as an affirming church or a gay-friendly church. That’s really what changed my life, that’s what opened the door of possibility for me. The first MCC that I visited, which was an affirming church, the Metropolitan Community Church, was in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. That’s kind of where my ministry began again; I went down to that church and did a concert, and they just took me in. I ended up moving down to Fort Lauderdale and before I knew it, probably within three months, the doors started opening for me to go to other affirming churches. That was five years ago. So I’ve been in full-time ministry for about five years in affirming churches. DeMarco and I met when I moved to LA and we’ve been doing this together now for two years.

BRIAN: Wow! That’s quite a story.

JASON: Yeah, I always say that I prayed to God that God would give me a partner that would support me in ministry. It wasn’t the easiest thing for a guy in his early twenties to be out there doing this work and for other young guys in this community to kind of get it, or understand it. And so I prayed that God would send a partner to support me, and God said, “I’ll do better”, and He sent me a partner that joined me. You can’t get any better than that.

JUSTIN: That is so awesome.

BRIAN: That’s great. Do you identify yourself more with the gay Christian world or the Christian music world?

JASON: What we like to say is that we first and foremost are Christian singers. To be honest with you, even with this term ‘Christian’, with this new CD a goal of ours was to call it Spirit Pop. Just to say that we sing inspirational music, we sing music that the message is there and it can be applied and interpreted to all different people, regardless of their religious background, regardless of their age, their gender. So that’s really been our goal with our music is to really be inclusive and not exclude anyone even if it comes down to their faith. Which is why we respect all people’s journeys that they are on. We consider ourselves Christian, but we see a lot of beauty and a lot of truths in other religions that are out there. So, we really try to just say that we’re inspirational singers that just so happen to be gay and not put a label of, “We’re gay Christian”, “We’re gay whatever”, it’s that we’re two men who just so happen to be gay who are in a life partnership with each other and more so than anything, we’ve been given a gift and through the gift of music we can get a message out there to as many people as possible. And ultimately that’s because the music shares the message of love, and has the message that all of us are trying to walk this journey of life, and ultimately we’re all walking it together and as different as we all may seem, we’re much more alike regardless of our differences.

JUSTIN: It seems to me that you can’t be the only gay musicians out there, even in the Christian music world, it seems like there should be others.

DEMARCO: Jason can testify going to his college, he has over the years been in contact with many people that have since come out. So there’s tons—we are everywhere, but they may not be out.

JASON: We say even in mainstream churches, if you were to take the gay organist and music director away, you’d have no music in churches… and that’s really the sad thing, in the mainstream Christian music world, this is a huge issue. There are artists that are well known artists that I know are dealing with this issue. Most of them are married because they tried to get married thinking that would change them, or they get married because it’s what they’re supposed to do, or they feel like if they’re going to make it they have to live this life that is what the Christian world thinks is the right life. In response to that, they end up getting married and end up going to the underground places to deal with their sexuality. They go to the bars, and they go to the bathhouses, and they go to these places and these places feed their guilt and feed their shame, which ultimately just confirms that this lifestyle is so negative. So they don’t experience that there is a healthy, positive way to being gay.

JUSTIN: Do you get frustrated with them?

JASON: You know, I don’t get frustrated with them, I feel compassion for them. Because I know what the Christian community has created this space and if you want to succeed… you’re raised your whole life, so many of these people, Number 1, they love God. They truly do love God and have a desire to do God’s will. Number 2, their sexuality is something that they’ve struggled with, and then when they’re given a talent, they have this talent and you’re raised in the church being told, you’ve been given this talent, because God’s going to use you. And all of a sudden to have this issue in your life, where you’re like, well, how could God possibly use me if this is in my life, and I’ve been given this talent… So we’re taught in the Christian church that this issue is from the devil, a cross that we’re supposed to carry, an obstacle that’s been put in our path because of the ‘great work’ that God has for us to do. And so these people start looking at their sexuality, as I did at one time, as this curse. It’s something that they’re supposed to overcome, that they’re being tested with to see if they can overcome it to be used by God. So I look at these people and I see this and I just feel compassion because I think, “When will they experience the freedom of being able to say, ‘This is who I am, that I can live a healthy lifestyle, being this person. And I can also reconcile that God still loves me.’” Honestly guys, I look at my life and I don’t know how I was able to break free and come to terms with this, particularly because of my background. But thank God that along the way I met the right people, read the right books, and more than anything, my personal relationship with God—I think that’s another issue. We as Christians become—for me being raised everything was the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, and talking about the Bible. The Bible says this, the Bible says that. Whereas for me, I always read the Bible believing that it was inspired of God, but I also read the Bible looking at it as it was a book written, and letters in a book written, to a particular culture and people at a certain time. I’ve always based my spirituality on my personal relationship with God. My personal relationship and my own intuition and how I feel in my gut and in my spirit. And I think that’s really what’s guided me. Beyond anything of what anyone says or what anyone claims, I really go on my personal relationship with God and how I feel, and ultimately really feeling at peace with that.

DEMARCO: You know, the more and more we travel, especially to small towns, we really get to see that for young people growing up, there’s really hardly any support for anyone that is GLBT. It’s amazing, I forget sometimes living in Los Angeles, that we have a community that we can stick together and lift each other up and celebrate being who we are every day. But in our travels we meet people, and we get e-mail and cards from young people that this is the first time they’ve gotten a glimpse of hope that they themselves can find a partner, someone to love them and someone to spend their life with, after seeing one of our concerts. What’s even scarier is that young gay people, teenagers in this country, are three times more likely to attempt to take their life than their heterosexual peers. The day that I got that I might be able to make a difference in the world even saving one life at a time, it really resonated in my heart that this is what I’m supposed to be doing and it’s been so rewarding.

JASON: Another big thing is that DeMarco and I, as we go forth, we don’t promote or condone any lifestyle. Our main goal is to allow others to see that there are resources, there are places they can go that they can start dealing with this issue in their life so that they can find peace and they can ultimately find which path they are on or that they are supposed to be on. We have many friends that for them, they simply can’t reconcile that being gay is okay. And we support them on their journey, in order for them to have peace, they can’t live a gay lifestyle. But that doesn’t necessarily mean—they don’t claim to be straight, they’ve accepted that they’re gay but they simply don’t feel at peace living a gay lifestyle. So we support them where they are. DeMarco and I, we have found peace and we believe that this relationship is blessed of God and that this is the way that we are moving in our world. That this is an issue just like an issue like slavery was, like women’s rights, that the Bible has been misinterpreted and that we believe the gay community has been a group that has been discriminated against and that has been cut off from the body of Christ. And we believe that it is a time where it is coming back, and we’re experiencing that healing. We just want people to know that God loves them. And we want them to know that they’re okay just as they are, and that there are places that they can come out. Because for me, that was what I realized was that so many people were dealing with this and they had no one to turn to. Our goal was to allow people see that there are places they can turn to, there are places that they can come out and they can be embraced and not rejected, and then they can start dealing with this issue and they can see where God takes them on their journey, and we support wherever that is.

BRIAN: That’s awesome, that’s really great. Well, before we go, I was wondering if you guys could tell us about some of your favorite songs on your new Spirit Pop CD?

DEMARCO: I guess Jason will talk about the ones he wrote, and I’ll talk about one of my favorites, which is “You’ll Come Around”. It’s a song that we both wrote together because, basically, the message is “Here we are, in our world”. The mentality is what it is in terms of how society accepts us or rejects us, but I’m so certain that just like it was for black people, just like it was for women in the workforce, eventually we will all come around. Because when we come from a place of love, ultimately that’s what will be the example that will bring us all together. That’s one of my favorite songs, and Jason wrote this wonderful song called “All I Long For”, which is the single off the album which is being promoted to radio right now. I’m sure he can tell you a bit about that…

BRIAN: I’ve seen the video, it’s great.

JASON: “All I Long For” was written starting in college, and then I finished it after college after the whole experience with the band and being kicked out. Really, it simply says that—and I think DeMarco and I as we travel what we see—is that no matter where we go, and once again, as different as people may seem, that ultimately we as human beings we all have the same desire and that is to love and be loved in return. And so many have the same fear, and that’s of being alone. So what this song really speaks to is that all we long for is someone to love that understands us and sees us as we are. And that when we can begin living a life of integrity and living a life of authenticity, that the masks can come off and that we can truly experience the gift of life that we’ve been given and the beauty that it has to offer. More than anything, experiencing first and foremost that God loves us just as we are and that when we can grasp that we can begin loving ourselves just as we are. And then as we have that healing take place, this is when we are truly open to experiencing love with another. So I think that that’s the message that we’re trying to get out. There’s a third one, a song called “Every Day”, which is the first one on the album. It simply says that every day these people pass me by, and that we’re all caught up in living our own lives, but no matter what we’re all doing or how caught up we are in what we call ‘life’, that ultimately we’re all walking the same journey and it’s this journey that we call life. When we begin looking at each other and see that we’re all just trying to do the best that we can do on this journey, and when we start loving and supporting on their journey, rather than condemning and judging or thinking that we know what’s best for another, when we just start taking responsibility for our own path, and just start loving each other where we are, I think that’s really when the world’s going to experience healing. And we each can be a part of it.

JUSTIN: Awesome. You guys have been such a pleasure, thank you so much for being on the show today.

DEMARCO: Oh, thank you.

JASON: Our pleasure.

JUSTIN: And our listeners can get Spirit Pop through your website, is that right?

DEMARCO: Yes, you can either go to www.spiritpop.com or you can go to www.jasonanddemarco.com.

JUSTIN: Okay, and I noticed also that Songs for the Spirit is available in the iTunes music store. Yes, good stuff.

BRIAN: Is there anything else that you guys would like to add?

DEMARCO: We just wanted to share that we endorse the Trevor Project Foundation, and it’s a 24 hour, 7 days a week hotline for questioning gay youth. So if there’s anyone out there that needs someone to talk to about this and has nowhere to turn, please call 1-866-4UTREVOR. And that’s it, it was great talking to you guys today. All the best!

JUSTIN: Well Thanks very much.

BB We really appreciate it, thanks.

JUSTIN: Well, that about wraps is up for the this edition of GCN Radio. Don’t forget, as always, you can check us out each week at www.gaychristian.net/gcnradio/.

BRIAN: You can also e-mail us at gcnradio@gaychristian.net.

JUSTIN: So, for this week, I’m Justin…

BRIAN: …and I’m Brian.

JUSTIN: We’ll see you next week.

[music:
Do you ever wonder who
Meets you in your dreams at night
Who fills your heart with hope
And holds you tight?

Do you ever wonder who
Can take away your deepest fears
Unlock your heart’s desire
And dry your tears?

It’s a force
Stronger than you and me
It’s the reason
Why my spirit’s alive and free
Open up your heart and just believe
In a force stronger than you and me…]