The "Queer as Faith" Archive

"Queer as Faith" is Nathan Gunter's unconventional, thought-provoking column about struggling to live authentically in the real world.

Note: Nathan's columns tend to be raw, personal, and sometimes controversial.  They occasionally contain strong language.  Feel free to discuss your agreement or disagreement with any of these columns on the GCN message board.

Brand New!
Treasures
"We get to hold on to so little as we move through life: friendships, love, hope and faith stick with us."

All the People We Have Been
"My first instinct when I am wronged is to hit back. But sometimes, the better choice is to clean out my own stuff."

Straining to Hear
"When the deaf dog next door damaged my calm I thought about poisoning it. Instead, I faced my fears head-on."

Room By Room
"I want to tell you the story of how I found the love of my life. It's a long story, so bear with me."

Past columns:

Week 37:
Miracle Drug
"As spring comes, life bursts out and moves forward. As I struggle to keep up, I find that self-acceptance is never out of reach."

Week 36:
Reconstruction Site
"I found out that the building I spent a lot of time growing up in was being renovated. At the same time, I found myself being remodeled from the inside out."

Week 35:
Advent, Week 4: The Birthing Ward, The Waiting Room, and the Funeral Home (an epilogue)
"In families, sometimes our gatherings are joyous, like holidays and births. Other times, they are terrifying, like holidays and illnesses. My family has been through it all, and every year I find myself more in love with them."

Week 34:
Advent, Week 3: Bad Things to Such Horrible People
"When I found out about the tragedy that had befallen someone I couldn't stand, I laughed and rejoiced. It wasn't long, however, before I realized that my joy was twisted, my sin once again an invitation to repentance, which is really the glimpse of wonder we await."

Week 33:
Advent, Week 2: The Wait of Glorie
"The little kitten in my arms had one deformed, sightless eye, but she kept playing, and purring, and reaching out. It showed me that we're all waiting for a miracle."

Week 32:
Advent, Week 1: Stew
"While we spend the winter huddled up and waiting for a miracle, one of the best things we can do is to keep each other warm, especially when the world's cold is overwhelming."

Week 31:
A Billion Miles to Greatness
"Despite the rain, and my hurting heart, my dear friends' wedding was one of those crazy little miracles, the kind that come in a paper bag but are exactly what you need."

Week 30:
St. Francis Ants
"I was hoping that a spiritual retreat in Assisi would help me find some peace in a tumultuous time. Instead, I was assaulted by bugs and sadness, and learned a lot about overcoming fear. Part Two of Two."

Week 29:
Thirst in Ljubljana
"Thousands of miles from home, in a city in the former Yugoslavia, I learned that we're all yearning for the same stuff, no matter how alone we may sometimes feel. Part One of Two."

Week 28:
Sand Plums
"As it turns out, we're not defined by what others think of us, no matter how we feel about them."

Week 27:
The Shrapnel Clan
"I suppose we're like any other family: we hold unrealistic expectations of one another, we love fiercely, and sometimes, we fall apart."

Week 26:
Supermodels and Saints
"Being complimented on my appearance, coupled with a strange bout of illnesses and a spider bite, got me entirely too wrapped up in my looks. What I discovered, though, was that God cares about my heart."

Week 25:
24 at 39th
"I celebrated my birthday with a bit of sadness and fear at growing older. Fortunately there were good friends, a karaoke bar, and the love of God to get me through it."

Week 24:
Liner Notes
"If my name is in the thank you's of my favorite songwriter's new CD, does that mean I'm cool? Or are you going to see right through that to the big, beloved dork I really am?"

Week 23:
Mundane Grace
"For a time, it was good to take a break. I had so much going wrong in my life at one point, so many things getting lost and broken: my job, my family, my once-fit physique, my ability to hope for a better life, and, of course, Angel. So I had to take time to find joy again. Now, I return, a little saggier, a little happier, and a little bit closer to God, I hope."

Week 22:
Your Mom Already Knows (and other coming-out pointers)
"This is a story from the tribe, to the tribe: I wanted to share some wisdom about the coming out process, and I had to go to the people who love me most and best, and deep inside me, to find things to share with those of you who are in it."

Week 21:
Mandeville, Filicia, Stroud, Newsom
"Being gay – like war – is hard. But as winter fades, I find I'm learning to love my political enemies and, thanks to some wonderful allies in the gay community, find hope in hopeless times."

Week 20:
Hocking the Past
"I had to sell my old guitar to make ends meet. The same week my dad and I visited the town where I grew up. Meeting the past face to face – and then letting it go – was painful and hard, and it made me ask myself where my life is headed."

Week 19:
Family...suh
"When my mom and I tried to move a piano on our own, we discovered that the wounds life has inflicted on us of late were a great source of power, and another step on the rocky path to redemption."

Week 18:
My Toilet Runneth Over: A Christmas Miracle
"I had asked God for a Christmas miracle, the kind where my money problems are solved, I finally start my career, and my family's old wounds are miraculously healed. What I got instead were friendships, grace, and an overflowing toilet."

Week 17:
Hearts Like Bomb Shelters
"My friend and I threw ourselves into an ex-gay conference to find out what spiritual violence looks like and how we can fight it. Instead, I found myself staggering down to the front for an altar call. Here's what happened."

Week 16:
Cat Person
"The love of two good cats is the closest thing I've had to a relationship of late. But it's also been a great way to understand the love of God."

Week 15:
Learning to Understand
"My best friend's pregnancy, and our preparations to be parents, were brought to an abrupt and painful end. I prayed to understand the point of it all, and in doing so learned a bit more about what reconciliation means."

Week 14:
Rm W/A Vu
"When I decorated my bedroom in my new house, I went looking for old resentments so I could adorn the space with them. What I found instead was that they were gone, and that my life isn't so bad as I once thought."

Week 13:
Again, and For the Millionth Time
"I needed to see my dad and my sister in Arkansas this week, not just because I hadn't seen them in awhile, but because I needed to find out a bit more of who I am, and who I'm becoming. So I made the trip."

Week 12:
The Little Golgi Body Who Could
"A sermon about the Body of Christ got me thinking about my place in it; that though small, insignificant, crabby, and probably loud-mouthed and annoying, I am welcome, nourished, and necessary."

Week 11:
Groom and Golden Calf
"Sexist and off-putting though it may be, bride-and-groom imagery helps me realize the power of falling in love, and of being loved."

Week 10:
There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb
"Tornadoes are a lot like war: both are powerful, destructive instruments of change, for better or worse. And when you see both coming from miles away, all you can do is hunker down, and pray."

Week 9:
Revolution
"I'm not sure what God thinks about the coming war in Iraq, but I can't help but be anxious about it. Thank goodness that Margaret Cho came along to teach me that revolution is all about minorities coming together to make a majority."

Week 8:
25 Months
"Something as scary and wonderful as growing older takes so much time, and yet seems to happen overnight. It's those frightening overnight moments that seem to make me so afraid and yet so ready to accept life as it comes."

Week 7:
Open Letter
"Sometimes we don't know how to live in a world where the choices are this difficult. But we have to keep getting out of bed in the morning, even if it's just so we can rush right back."

Week 6:
Bible Bar! Fights Appetite!
"Christmas shopping at a Christian bookstore gave me a hysterical, crazy experience, the kind that makes you question the entire world and your whole system. What does it say about our world that the things we hold most dear are exploited for profit and used to portray a message that we should be railing against?"

Week 5:
I Can See My House From Here!
"A window seat on a flight back home made me wonder about what we all look like from a heavenly perspective, and helped me find a sense of peace about my chaotic and fearful little life."

Week 4:
Love's Language
"I got annoyed with the word love being thrown around like it is, but my self-righteousness disappeared when I was shown what it actually is…again."

Week 3:
In the Broken Places
"Where is my faith?  It's in the broken places.  The Gospel isn't evident to me on the mountaintop, and it doesn't shine in my good deeds, my kindness, or the moments when I feel strong and superhuman."

Week 2:
A Word Before... and After
"Maybe call it a mission statement: I want to show you my life and my struggles so that maybe we can see that what really unites us is love, and our humanity."

Week 1:
Buildings and Bridges, Trauma Rooms and Temples
"It's refreshing and unusual to find God's grace in the strangest and most desperate places, for example, on a trip to the emergency room."