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Discussion in the Sensitive Subjects forum may sometimes touch on issues that are emotional. For this reason, extra care should be taken to avoid hurting others' feelings.
The following behaviors are forbidden and may result in moderator action:
1. Personal attacks against specific individuals, including public figures.
Example:
"Bob Smith is a terrible leader!"
Respectful alternative:
"I didn't vote for Bob Smith because I disagree with his stance on abortion, which is an issue I feel strongly about."
2. Putting down or talking disrespectfully to other GCN members.
Example:
"That's a stupid idea."
Respectful alternative:
"I disagree."
Example:
"How could anyone believe that?"
Respectful alternative:
"I'm not sure I understand your reasoning. Could you tell me more about how you came to your views?"
Example:
"You just don't understand."
Respectful alternative:
"Let me see if I can make myself clearer."
3. Making generalizations about others and their views.
Example:
"Fundamentalists always misuse statistics."
Respectful alternative:
"I think the numbers quoted in this article are misleading."
Example:
"Isn't that just like a liberal?"
Respectful alternative:
"You and I see this issue very differently, Sally."
Example:
"Focus on the Family is just a bigoted organization."
Respectful alternative:
"I don't agree with Focus on the Family's position on this legislation."
If you can avoid these three traps (personal attacks, disrespect, and generalizations), you'll be in a very good place to have respectful, mutually beneficial dialogue on difficult issues. That's what we strive for at GCN. If you see others using these methods, please let the moderators know by using the "report post" button so that we can keep this a safe and friendly space for all people.
Q: But what if someone is promoting something that I believe is morally wrong? Don't I have an obligation to stand up against it?
A: Absolutely. Express your disagreement with the position, but continue to behave respectfully towards the person. Here's an example dialogue to demonstrate the difference.
Scenario: A member has just expressed his view that the Bible is man-made and not reliable. You believe that the Bible is the foundation of our faith, and that to say anything less is blasphemous and wrong. How should you respond?
THE WRONG WAY:
How can you believe that? That is so anti-Christian. Every serious Christian throughout history has acknowledged the divine inspiration of Scripture. If you throw it out, you're throwing out the entire faith! Why are you even on a Christian website? The things you're saying are lies from Satan.
THE RIGHT WAY:
I hear what you're saying, Bob, but I disagree. I believe that the Bible is the foundation of the Christian faith. When Paul wrote in 2 Timothy 3:16 that "all Scripture is God-breathed," I interpret that to apply to both Old and New Testaments. Jesus himself quoted Scripture to make his points, so I think it makes sense for us to follow his example by relying on Scripture for our guidance.
You mentioned that you believe the Bible has too many errors to be of God. Could you tell us about some of the errors you see? Maybe that would help me understand your position better, and I'd enjoy discussing them. |
Notice how the first example uses inflammatory language and puts the other person on the defensive ("Why are you even on a Christian website?"). The second example uses "I" language ("I believe," "I interpret," "I think," "I disagree") and invites the other person to engage in dialogue.
The first post uses stronger language, but the second post makes a better case, and does it in a very kind and respectful manner.
If you are finding yourself becoming angry or having difficulty using kind language, please do not post until you've taken time to pray and calm down. Consider writing your response but not submitting it, then coming back to reread it an hour later to see if it's still what you want to say.
And if someone else is harsh to you, don't respond harshly. Instead, alert the moderators to the situation for the sake of others who may have been hurt by the harsh language.
Thank you for your cooperation!
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